Have you ever felt the need to be (sorry for the term) “bitchy?” It’s just like you do not want to be one but there are just some instances when you accidentally become one without you even noticing it until it’s kind of over and you have pondered about what had happened. I felt like that happened to me last night. Let me share you the story:
I was at my friend’s house for our little get together. We were drinking and all and I even brought my girlfriend along so that I could introduce her to my friends. I knew she got drunk ‘cos she was kind of irritating to talk with and she had her dunken mood swings AGAIN. When we lied down to finally take a rest, she kissed my lips and then whispered: “Pareho kayo ng lasa ni Angel” (You taste like Angel). Well, what she must have meant was Angel and I kissed the same.
Here’s a brief introduction: Angel was my girlfriend’s (Laine) ex before me. She started courting me and then out of nowhere this Angel girl came and well, they became a couple leaving me hanging and waiting for her. She still loves me at that time and the reason why they became a couple was because it was just pushed by her friends. It came to the point that she loved Angel more than she loved me and dumped me eventually. After a few days they broke up and we got back together again and voila! We’re 6 months now and well, we’re super in love with each other. Mind you, Laine and Angel didn’t even last a month.
Angel and I haven’t even seen each other in person nor talked online or whatever; but I hate her. I hate her so much. Whenever I would see her picture at my girlfriend’s Facebook friends list I can’t help but feel like I wanna grab a knife and stab her to death. I was hurt. Laine knows I hate Angel among all of her ex’s because well, they hurt me plus whenever Laine would need me to be like super sweet and to her and prove her how much I love her or when she’s just plain drunk and having those damn mood swings, she would always use Angel’s name and she knows it pisses me off. Last night I just found myself saying in front of Laine’s face: “Sana mamatay na si Angel. Napaka pokpok niya. Ayoko sa kanya. Sana mamatay na siya” (I hope Angel dies. She’s such a slut. I hate her. I hope she really dies.) I honestly can’t believe I said those words. I hated myself for being bitter, I hated myself for hating her because Laine told me and I can feel it that she’s nice but I just can’t help my emotions. I can’t but be mean about her. I guess it’s just because I got hurt and maybe I still can’t forgive. I got Laine, I am happy so I should really stop hating her.
To that girl, sorry. I’ll try to not hate you. Trust me, I did try but I can’t; but I still would keep trying.
To all, I know you sometimes feel this kind of shitty and bitchy feeling inside. Admit it or not, we’re bitter, oh wait, Bitter with a capital B. Hating other people won’t make us better it would just make us mean (look who’s talking, haha). Seriously though, we’ve had our fair shares of bitchiness (addressing girls) so just admit that fact and let’s try to stop hating for awhile. 
*Share your own bitchiness. Write down a comment and tell me all about it.
This is my 1st WORDPRESS blog post. Spread the CANDYCOATEDTHOUGHTS!
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