In the time that this blog has gone live, I have struggled to discern the voice of my lesbian writer self; to figure out if and how it differs from my voice as a woman, as a closet goof, as a human being.
There are times my voice is very much that of a lesbian: a woman who uses the pronoun SHE and HER about dating, about love, about relationships, about desire and sensual, sexual expression.
It is also specifically lesbian when it comes to health issues: we have ever so slightly different health concerns than straight women — not much but some.
I can also speak at length and with tongue-in-cheek about stereotypes in the categories and sub categories of various lesbian tribes. I can raise an eyebrow at lesbian fashion and design sensibilities — which may be the subject of a post at some future date. I can raise two eyebrows at that newest of categories, celesbians.
DYKE DETOUR: Because I am in Canada, I can SO wonder about American celesbian culture. What on earth is it about that English singer-songwriter +DJ Samantha Ronson who dated Lindsay Lohan, anyway? And why, why, why are Americans so enamoured of English accents..? Was it part of how Tony and George cemented their war agreement? Put more English accents on American television? I think most lesbians here know that celesbian life is no more representative of all American lesbians than Mars is of the moon, except for the fact that they exist in space, along with other stars, and planets and universes.
BACK TO MAINSTREAM POINT: So after much thought and furrowed eyebrows and discussion, I have landed on this: Not everything about me is about being a lesbian, and by extension, my lesbian voice is not the only voice with which I speak or write.
Clearly, my lesbian voice is tempered by living in Canada’s largest city. Today, not a day goes by where you don’t see same-sex couples holding hands, or sharing a quick kiss in a shopping mall, or on the street or in a restaurant. It was not like that three years ago.
In Canada, a homosexual can now expect the same rights as a heterosexual, at least in the eyes of the law. We now have same-sex marriage, and honeymoons, same-sex couples looking to become pregnant or adopt and swap child-rearing stories; same-sex tax-filing and pension rights for partners, and let’s not forget same-sex divorce, same-sex custody battles (previous restricted to dogs and cats and mediation rather than court).
That’s a far cry from a slightly different Toronto of just 10 years ago: one woman, a lesbian had died after a battle with breast cancer, and her partner of 12 years had no say, no recourse when the woman’s parents were ALLOWED to enter the home and take the woman’s belongings.
Granted, the law is hardly a concern to homophobes and anyone who has trouble with something that is OTHER. And in families, well, there are many difficult stories, and some workplaces remain unsafe to be out, but there is progress.
Oh and we are SO a target market for beer, cruise lines, cars, fashion, enlightened banks, financial planners and Ikea, although it’s mostly aimed at men, because men STILL make far more than women.
And while I am a professional, being a lesbian using a lesbian voice is not my career — unlike lesbians who happen to be queer feminist academics with an minor in women’s sexuality who teach queer studies.
I know that this reality is not everyone’s reality. There is much work to be done before equity truly exists. And because it is an issue of equity and rights, my voice as a woman is right in there.
My lesbian my voice is so often entwined with my voice as a woman it will remain hard to tease out going forward. I’ll work to point it out through the cheeky comments about lesbian life, or the wacky, wonderous, heart pounding, blood stopping astonishment and forehead slapping, sweet and sometimes difficult reality of women loving women, of two women being in relationship together. Which, by the way, just happens to be the subject of Lesbian Space: Part Two.
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Thank you for stopping by and reading. I would like to wish you a wonderful send off of 2009 and an auspicious welcoming celebration to usher in 2010. May the goddesses in all traditions around the many worlds smile on you and conspire together to bring you strength, love, contentment and laughter.
Rosie O’Donnell is dating again. The comedian and former TV talk show host – who in mid-November revealed that her longtime partner Kelli Carpenter moved out of their home two years ago– is now dating Tracy Kachtick-Anders, a Texas-based artist. The pair were spotted walking hand-in-hand in Miami Beach on Tuesday.
Well damn, I never even knew she & Kelli broke up. Where have I been?
-”The BklynBandette.” Mr. Hollywood’s Co-Defendant.
krissthesexyatheist rounds up photos of his favorite protest signs of the past year. From the protesters who don’t know the difference between “youth in asia” and “euthanasia” to the “We can quote the Bible too” sign to the Mormon “magic panties” sign, it’s hard to pick a favorite.
Something is afoot. A gay Republican group, GOProud, recently applied to sponsor Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), which is essentially the premier annual gathering of crazies conservatives in D.C. As you might expect several of their prospective co-sponsors didn’t appreciate sharing the ticket with their homosexual brethren and threatened to pull out. Then comes along David Keene, the head of CPAC’s main organizing group, who had this to say:
In his e-mail response, Keene admitted GOProud “has signed on as a CPAC co-sponsor, but will have no speakers and we told them that, in fact, since opposition to gay marriage, etc are consensus positions (if not unanimous) among conservatives, these topics are not open to debate.”
Which basically translates as: sure we’ll take your money but you can’t speak and the issues you care about won’t even be discussed.
Kind of makes you wonder why GOProud even bothered….
Geoff Kors of EQCA recently had an op-ed in the Bay Area Reporter announcing EQCA’s new student internship program. It’s worth a read:
Originally appeared in the Bay Area Reporter
Jim Nickoff, my best friend of more than 20 years, came out at age 15 in 1978, a time when very few teenagers came out and even fewer services were available for LGBT youth. The pain he suffered after being rejected by his family, his faith, and community was overwhelming. Jim was determined to heal the wounds, but they never healed no matter how hard he worked at it. The realization that the pain would not end became unbearable. On December 16, 2007, he committed suicide at the age of 44.
Jim not only worked hard to overcome the harm he suffered as a youth, but he also worked hard to prevent other youth from going through what he did. He devoted his life to the fight for equality and created opportunities for LGBT youth through his work at Equality California and many other LGBT and HIV/AIDS organizations.
Creating a safe, accepting environment for LGBT youth is just as crucial today as it was when Jim came out. In fact, although the battles for equality being waged at the ballot box, in the courts, and in legislatures throughout the nation are most often in the spotlight, it is the battle for acceptance in schools that may very well be the most important fight of all.
We know how anti-LGBT forces preyed on parents’ fears about what will be taught in schools to strip away marriage rights at the ballot box in Maine and California. But the fight extends far beyond the issue of marriage and has been going on for decades.
Anti-LGBT organizations fought us every step of the way to prevent the passage of Harvey Milk Day legislation and, having lost, they are now working to keep schools from teaching about Harvey Milk, even urging parents to take their children out of public schools altogether on May 22, Harvey Milk Day, in protest.
Just last week, those leading the effort to repeal LGBT inclusive anti-bullying curriculum adopted by the Board of Education in Alameda, claiming it created “special rights,” reiterated their opposition even after the school board’s recent vote that not only reaffirmed its commitment to teaching respect for LGBT people but also expanded the curriculum to include respect for racial, ethnic, and religious minorities and others who are subject to discrimination-based bullying.
This change did nothing to appease opponents since the special rights argument is really just an excuse. Their true goal: preventing any positive mention of LGBT people in school curriculum.
These are just the latest fights in the many decades of school-related battles we have fought against those opposed to LGBT equality, which started long ago with attempts to prohibit LGBT individuals from being teachers, and they continue today.
Right-wing groups fight safe schools legislation, anti-bullying curriculum, and the establishment of gay-straight alliances because they believe that if straight students are taught to respect LGBT people and get to know LGBT students as friends and classmates, it will counter the bigotry these youth hear from right wing religious leaders, family members, and others, and we will gain greater acceptance.
They are threatening to boycott Harvey Milk Day because they worry that if students learn about the history of discrimination against, and achievements of, LGBT individuals, they will be less likely to hate us and more likely to support equality and acceptance. And they are right.
If students learn the truth, we will help stem the damage that bigotry and bullying cause. That is why Equality California has worked so hard to pass strong, inclusive safe schools legislation – legislation prohibiting negative portrayals of LGBT people in curriculum, and the bill creating Harvey Milk Day in California. It is why we will fight for inclusive curriculum and anti-bullying policies until they are the law in every school district in the state. It is why we need to make sure every California student knows why we are celebrating Harvey Milk Day on May 22, 2010, and every year thereafter.
We need to make it clear to the broader public – and parents in particular – that the danger isn’t in students learning about LGBT people in school, but rather the danger is in students not learning about LGBT people in school. We need to take on our opponents and call out these adult bullies for the very real harm they cause to LGBT youth – harm that lasts a lifetime. It is only by speaking out strongly about how youth are hurt by anti-LGBT prejudice that we have the opportunity to reduce the growing number of hate crimes against LGBT people and the higher rates of substance abuse, drop outs, and suicides among LGBT youth and adults that are a direct result of anti-gay bias.
We owe it to every LGBT youth and the children of LGBT parents, to fight for safe schools and inclusive curriculum. We owe it to Jim and to every LGBT person whose lives have been lost to suicide or a senseless hate crime. In fact, we owe it to every youth, LGBT or not, so that when they grow up and have kids of their own they can pass on the lessons of tolerance and acceptance. In so doing, we will be taking a major step toward ending the bigotry that damages so many lives and toward achieving our goal of true equality and acceptance.
The Equality California Institute has established a student internship in Jim Nickoff’s memory. Applications and information can be found at www.eqca/jobs.
It occurs to me that when faced with choices in life, those moments of having to make decisions, of choosing a path, a direction, a way to go, a commitment to move one way or the other, that the choices lesbians have to make are simple. For example;
- come out, or not
- sleep with her, or not
- live together or not
- get a pet, or not
- get married, or not
- have children, be a parent, or not
- shave your underarms or other places, or not
- pierce, or tattoo, or not.
If only.
Those choices will be made, of course. But so many, many more await you. Allow me to elaborate.
Depending on your age when you KNOW your mind, body and soul are for women, and IF you haven’t fallen in love with your best friend, you might have to choose what category of lesbian, or tribe you belong to in order to call the right recruitment office.
Rocker chick lesbian? Indie-pop, folk singing lesbian? Hip-hop, crumping, street dance lesbian? Disney movie lesbian? Skater girl lesbian? Art school lesbian? Ethnic or multicultural lesbian? Crystal-packing new ager from the Isle of Lesbos practicing the newest free-spirited dance in communal kitchens decked out in the latest in pine and tapestry interiors type of lesbian?
You might be the tofurkey and birkenstock and organic cotton, fair trade coffee and chocolate, drinking only filtered water and folding yourself into small spaces with the grace of a ballerina type of lesbian.
Or, if you are one of the millions of MBAs out there that happens to also be a lesbian, you can choose the professional, and often invisible lesbian tribe, of budget meetings and downsizing, of conferences and too much bad coffee and rubber chicken and long hours, a house, car, annual vacations and a retirement fund. (This tribe is generally middle and upper tax brackets, and is related to the predominantly white American tribe that does the Dinah Shore golf thing because goddess knows there is no such notion as … um … CLASS structure based on income or education or vocabulary in the lesbian world.)
In case you think that’s it…hang on. Other decisions await you on where to situate yourself in the lesbian world. The choices of identity are endless!
A boi, a butch, a dyke, a femme, lipstick lesbian. You can also choose to be a lesbian Domme, a lesbian submissive, a top, bottom or reciprocal, a lesbian celibate (YES, there are those).
If you are a fan of Ayn Rand or compartmentalizing in general, you could opt to be a queer feminist, or even a lesbian separatist or simply a political lesbian.
Pets are a factor, but decide if you are a lesbian that will wear cat fur or dog fur.
Others on the lesbian picklist? An academic lesbian, a lesbian architect or engineer. Lesbians who know every rice pilaf recipe from here to Morocco, and lesbians who’s only food source is what comes from a microwave; lesbian gamers, lesbian skateboarders, lesbian prostitutes, lesbian musicians, lesbians sober for a day, a year, a decade, lesbian cops, lesbian writers, lesbian bloggers, lesbians in health care, lesbian geeks, nerds and programmers, lesbian artists, lesbian ministers, lesbian designers or that rare species, lesbian bureaucrats.
You can also decide to be a lesbian example or a warning: There are lesbian researchers, farmers, veterinarians, and professional sports puppy lesbians. There are EVEN lesbians in Cirque du Soleil, lesbian card dealers in Vegas and Monaco. There are lesbians in jail — either as inmates or guards; lesbian lawyers, in the offices of companies that hold a world monopoly on genetically modified food. Lesbians have also chosen to be in the army, navy, airforce and in space, now on the speaker’s circuit. (Air kisses to Roberta Bondar).
There are lesbians who are good people. And lesbians who are not. It is a choice.
(After cataloguing all that I am not sure if I should put lesbian FIRST at all. Lesbian Writer Tribe? Or a tribe of writers who are lesbian?)
What, oh what, is a good lesbian to do?? (Bad ones already know what do to.)
Skip all that stuff. Skip the stereotypes and assumptions and categories and labels. Life is too long and too short to worry about conforming for more than a minute, and over-specialization is ONLY going to serve to significantly limit your field for dating, sexual exploration and relationships.
Besides, lesbians have far more important choices to make.
Consider laundry detergent: most of us start out using what our maternal unit used at home. But then came along the green movement and all of a sudden marketers put a batch of information on the containers and now — if we want to save the earth and the 700,000+ species on it from a certain destruction — we have to think about the stuff that gets our clothes clean.
And we have to think about gas mileage that a new car might get. Or the electricity being sucked by things that now never truly turn off, or how far the food travels, or how much money to put aside for retirement, and to choose what to wear to work that won’t tell but won’t hide wither.
We have to choose how many dates to fit in over the holidays, the best way to introduce your new someone to family, if and where to go for vacation, what company to work for, what wine to serve with dinner, what books to read, what colour to paint the hallway, to flirt or not to flirt, paint toe nails or not, colour hair or not, work out at a gym or run, what wine to have with dinner, what to make for dinner to impress her on your third date. You choose to go for the mammogram or not, you choose to NOT go through life assuming everyone is like you, and always check your assumptions. You choose to be helpful and kind as a way of being and to rise above the common denominator of passive living; choose — or not — to give your time and ear to people who need you; choose to feed your inner self and make time for you. You also choose — or not — to be on speaking terms with your ex because it’s what most lesbians do. (Why? I ask)
You choose what to do to manage your broken heart.
There are other choices lesbians face: picking a coffin when you have to bury a parent, a friend a lover; choosing to work things out or leave; choosing to be a good boss, a better friend; health over harm; choosing to be in relationship with her, with friends and family and still be who you are, and how you are that remains true to you across all categories and all tribes.
Or course, you can not choose a thing. Let life unfold and be what it will be, with you as a cork on the ocean, a feather in the wind, a passing thought. That’s a choice too.
Lesbian choices, indeed.
*** PS: If I have missed a tribe, please let me know. My ethno-anthropological-socio-sexuological study of the Lost Lesbia tribes is just beginning. .
Matthew Mitcham as captured by photographer William Yang
Not only are paintings of the popular Beijing Olympic gold-medalist on exhibit (see previous post), now images of the popular diver from Australia by photographer William Yang are on display at Maunsell Wickes at Barry Stern Galleries in Sydney. Check out more of Yang’s photos of Mitcham at the Maunsell Wickes site. If you’re actually in Sydney, the exhibit of Yang’s photos of Mitcham runs until December 24th in the galleries in Paddington. An interview with the photographer discussing working with Mitcham can be found at the Australian website samesame, which just announced their Top 25 Most Influetial Gay and Lesbian Australians. The list, of course, included Mitcham.
Emma, 21, is a university student in the UK. She came out for the first time as a four-year-old when the male student teacher caught her smooching her friend. The second time Emma came out was 1 year ago, and this video marks the 1 year anniversary of her coming out to her mother. Emma’s strength and honesty are remarkable, and her ability to embrace her true self is totally inspiring. She says she has never been as happy as she is today because she is out and living her life to the fullest. Please watch Emma share her coming out story! Truly, she is unbelievable!
Hi, I’m Roger Stonewall. That’s not my real name, but for you all – it will be.
I am a playful, youngish, dyke top. I enjoy beating my girlfriend (in a controlled, consensual setting) and calling her dirty names. Don’t worry- I treat her as well as she wants to be treated. You will hear more about TetraMin later. That is not a brand name. Well, it is. Actually, I’m just kidding.This is not what I’m going to be calling my girlfriend. I do not want to think about sex with fish food. Ew. Okay. Getting off of topic here.
I’m joking with what I will call her, because we are sneaky college lesbians snickering. Because we will write the nasty, yet hopefully satisfying spellunking adventures that we do here. So, this means that I can’t really call her by her given name. We’ll go with Erin. Except for when we’re roleplaying.
Anyway, this blog’s inspiration comes from the surprising dearth of kinky, lesbian erotica to be found on the web. As a developing kinkster, it was really hard to find anything which would tickle my fancy. Too often I had to make do with either poorly written smut text or hetero erotica, which, although it can be quite hot, isn’t my favorite blend of tea (not to say that fucking with gender isn’t stimulating).
One more preci0us source of kinky, well-written, authentic lesbian erotica can’t hurt.
Hard as I try, it is sometimes difficult to avoid a stereotype. So I will not assume that every single lesbian has been hit on by a very good straight girlfriend, batting her eyelids, lowering her voice and saying, “I’ve always wondered what it would be like to sleep with a woman.” Or some variation thereof.
Raise your hand if it’s happened to you. Did you?
do not pass GO
Unless you’re in the contest where you get prizes for turning straight women into lesbians — in which case it’s ok to bed as many straight women as you possibly can — I don’t get it.
Okay, maybe it is a bit appealing when you’re coming out. Not only do lesbians want you, but OH MY GOD, straight women do too! You get to buy 365 sets of bed sheets. Breakfast in bed every weekend of the year. How cool is that?
After a while, most if not all of the straight women that you allow to experiment on you will admit that yes, sleeping together is nice and so is the sex. Then she’s gone and you get an invite to her wedding.
One or two may ponder this new thing you have introduced her to and discover that perhaps they are more interested in women than they first thought. And look at you with that look that is suspiciously close to the “I need to call the U-haul place” look.
Walk away. Or open a beer bottle with your teeth.
Again, not to stereotype, but straight women who do this are perhaps as lacking in knowledge as straight men because clearly, being a lesbian is all and only about the sex, and what’s greater and more compatible and wonderful than two women together? Well, nothing, actually, but that’s not the point.
I’m wondering about this because in the past little while a number of straight women I know, including one of my sisters, have said.”I’m giving up on men and am thinking about trying women.”
Trying women!?! Like a pair of pants? Like a shade of lipstick? Because…why, exactly? Because the sex is good and a relationship easier with a woman?
Let’s say for a minute that it’s NOT just about a straight woman having a lesbian experience: no matter which way it’s sliced, there are a THOUSAND things wrong with that way of thinking.
I’m only going to touch on a few. This is hard to admit, but lesbians are not perfect, and neither are lesbian relationships. Just because we share a sexual and emotional attraction to someone of the same gender does not mean we are exempt from the trials and tribulations of what it takes to create and sustain a good relationship. We still have to talk with each other, work at listening, overcome differences, fears, barriers, money issues, sex issues, decorating the house issues, disciplining the dog issues, family issues, ebb and flow of love and loving, monogamy or the lack of it, job change or loss, and now, childbirth and parenting and divorce and co-parenting and step-parenting. There’s darker stuff too: sadly, lesbian relationships are not immune to issues of addiction or abuse or power struggles.
And, think of this: there are now have TWO women in close proximity sharing PMS, a menstrual cycle, and later, perimenopause, hot flashes and menopause. Oh joy oh bliss
Straight women seem to think that they don’t have to say anything to another woman about wants and needs, because naturally, another woman would know. Who understands women better than women? Without being told. Telepathy is big between lesbians you know. In some circles this is called magical thinking. Not really conducive to good relationships between any two people of any stripe. Here’s my truth. Women are wonderful. And some can be total jerks.
Maybe these straight women are thinking out loud. Or acknowledging their desire for a close other in their life that understands them better and more profoundly than the men in their life, because in truth, in spite of political correctness, men and women ARE different.
When straight women I know have headed down this path (and it doesn’t seem to matter if I am in a relationship or not which is also interesting), when they say, how they’ve always wondered about sleeping with a woman, or how much better a lesbian relationship must be, and it’s with the batting of the eyes and leaning in a bit too close, I call forth the best version of myself to slip out of the conversation because once again, it is another form of not knowing and of stereotyping and of ignorance. And, I opted out of that contest early in the game.
X Factor: Joe McElderry and Olly Murs go head-to-head in the final
Joe McElderry, the favourite to win The X Factor, will go head-to-head in the final with Olly Murs. The pair will now battle it out for the title this evening and the chance to win a recording contract and, in all likelihood, the Christmas number one. Joe, the Geordie 18-year-old went through last night after show-stopping performances of Dance With My Father, Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word and Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me in a duet with George Michael.
The final two: Olly Murs and Joe McElderry will battle tonight for the X Factor title and chance to win a recording contract
Last night Joe, the firm favourite to win the show, looked thrilled after a tense evening and said: ‘I can’t believe it. I feel numb. It feels amazing.’But it was Olly Murs, from Essex, and his mentor Simon Cowell who looked truly stunned after he beat single mother Stacey Solomon to the final.’It’s so great but Stacey was amazing,’ he said.Stacey, 20, from Dagenham, scored the lowest number of public votes but said she was proud to have made it to the final.
Stunned: Olly Murs and Simon Cowell react as he is announced as the first act through to tonight’s final
Pressure mounting: It all gets too much for Joe as he waits to find out who will go through and lays his head on mentor Cheryl Cole’s shoulder
‘I came third – that’s really good. I’ve had the time of my life.’Her mentor, Dannii Minogue, said: ‘It’s been an incredible journey. I’ve made an amazing friend. She’s an absolute talent and a star.’During the evening, the judges had praised her performances, with Simon Cowell saying she had turned into a ‘nervous wreck’ in previous weeks but appeared calmer for the final.One very famous fan who will be disappointed to see her go is Prince Harry.The royal was spotted backstage with girlfriend Chelsy Davy, 24, who even sent the single mother flowers and a good luck note ahead of the show.Prince Harry has also been personally invited by Simon Cowell to return for tonight’s final.
Big fans: Prince Harry and Chelsy Davy were at the recording last night
Disappointment: Chelsy’s favourite Stacey Solomon crashed out last night
The 25-year-old Prince made a surprise visit to the North London studios.A fellow audience member said: ‘Harry and Chelsy were really into it. They gave a standing ovation to the acts and were really in the spirit.‘Chelsy seemed to be texting during the performance – probably to vote for Stacey Solomon.‘Obviously the people around them were doing complete double takes, but they were really cool‘Harry was wearing a suit and looked a bit like Olly Murs.’He has been asked to come back with Zimbabwean Chelsy tonight to meet the finalists backstage ahead of the show – expected to be watched by more than 20million people.A source close to Harry and Chelsy said: ‘As long as security is not an issue they plan to be there tonight.‘Chelsy met Simon Cowell when she went for a set visit three weeks ago and she told him Harry was a fan. Simon then sent them tickets.
Dream is over: Stacey Solomon and her mentor Dannii Minogue lost out to Olly Murs and Joe McElderry in the final last night
‘Chelsy throws X Factor-themed parties at her house and Harry and all her friends stay in on Saturday and Sunday nights to watch it. They are completely hooked.’Simon Cowell invited the pair to return backstage for a drink after the show.Harry had been backing John and Edward Grimes – the 18-year-old high-quiffed twins dubbed Jedward – but his votes were not enough to save the pair from being voted off three weeks ago.
Meanwhile Cheryl Cole wore a fishtail dress on the show which was so tight that she could barely walk in it.She was late back to her seat during the break on two occasions and had trouble making it down the steps with Joe McElderry at the end of the show.
Fishtail: Cheryl Cole had trouble walking in her extravagant feathered gown
The judge looked close to tears on numerous occasions through the show as she told viewers she ‘couldn’t bear it’ if Joe did not make it through.As she praised Joe, who is from South Shields, near her home town of Newcastle, after his performance of Dance With My Father, she said: ‘You stole my heart the first time you sang it.’She added: ‘I class him as a little brother.’As they waited for the results, she held his head on her shoulder as the pressure mounted.In comparison, Dannii Minogue looked understated in a simple one-shouldered toga-style dress in aubergine with a gold hair band and belt.The show saw a return to form for Essex boy Olly Murs, 25, who sang his audition song Superstition and A Fool In Love with a bevy of scantily-clad beauties.
…..
Gamour: Dannii Minogue wore a simple toga-style dress with gold accessories, while Stacey Solomon shimmered in a ruby red dress
Cowell described him as the ‘best risk I’ve ever taken in my life’. He added: ‘On the biggest night of your life you pulled out the performance of your life.’Olly also performed a duet of Angels with Robbie Williams.The former Take That singer came on to rapturous applause but then fluffed his cue and looked embarrassed by his mistake.It was the weakest duet of the evening and, as the pair wrapped their arms around each other, they looked more like two friends on a stag do singing karaoke.In comparison, Stacey Solomon belted out Feeling Good with crooner Michael Buble wearing a shimmering red gown, and Joe McElderry performed Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me with George Michael.Joe now has odds of 2/9 to win the series, while Olly is the 3/1 outsider. But nothing is guaranteed – Gareth Gates had similar odds against Will Young in Pop Idol but was the eventual runner-up.
Performance: Olly Murs leads a troupe of female dancers in white during his rendition of Fall In Love
Ladbrokes spokesman Nick Weinberg said: ‘Joe looks unstoppable. He’s gone from strength to strength and it’s going to take a miracle for Olly to get the better of him.’If Joe wins it’ll be a nightmare for the bookies.’Earlier, as the show opened, Cowell said: ‘This is the closest competition I’ve ever been involved in. I can’t pick a winner any more.’The eagerly-anticipated final of the contest will top one of the most lucrative weekends in British broadcasting, with an extended results show creating prime advertising spots in front of an expected audience of 20 million.
Girl time: Olly gets back to his best with a sparkling performance of Superstition, which he performed in his first audition
The weekend’s coverage alone could generate £18 million for the troubled broadcaster ITV1, according to some reports. Sir Paul McCartney will take to the stage tonight alongside all 12 acts who made it to the finals. With a vast audience expected to tune in, advertisers have been fighting to claim a slot on the show. But in an interview with The Mail on Sunday, Cowell warned that tonight might be the last time The X Factor is seen on British screens unless ITV provides more money.The network wants to secure rights to the show for the next ten years, but Cowell has insisted that it pays an extra £3million to his company Syco TV and producers TalkbackThames.
Belting it out: Joe performs Dance With My Father as his first performance
Favourite: Geordie Joe performed Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word
‘Every year the show gets bigger and better and that means it ends up costing more. ‘If they don’t give us the money to make the show as big as it’s become, then we’d rather pull out now, while the show is on a high,’ he warned.Cowell also tried to quash rumours that Spice Girl-turned-lingerie model Mel B was to replace Dannii Minogue as a judge if the show continued.‘A lot of things are going to change for next year – if we bring the show back,’ he said.‘Possibly five on a panel. I don’t think it will be Mel B.‘I tell you who’d make a good judge: Robbie Williams. He’s fun, he’s got good instincts and he doesn’t take himself too seriously.’
Cowell said he was ready to work with Joe and compared him to Scottish singer Susan Boyle from Britain’s Got Talent.
Wonderful World: Stacey opened the show
‘I didn’t think he was as good as he’s turned out to be and I think he could turn out to be a very successful recording artist,’ he said.‘I’ll use Susan Boyle as a comparison – when we made that record we couldn’t really compare her to anybody. All we tried to do was find a collection of songs that would suit her voice.’We’re going to take our time on Joe – if he does win.’
Stacey sings Who Wants To Live Forever as her final performance on The X Factor – and Simon claimed she had ’smashed it’
Cowell criticised Dannii Minogue’s styling of Stacey Solomon, saying she was trying to make her sound too much like Leona Lewis, who won The X Factor two years ago.’We would take Stacey right back to where she started from, when we first saw her, and take her out of those stupid ball gowns and stop her trying to sound like Leona.’Cowell said yesterday he was still backing Olly, who he has been mentoring throughout the series.‘I think this guy, looked after properly and given a decent record, could do really, really well.’But Olly, 25, told the Mail on Sunday he almost fell out with Cowell over the impresario’s song choice of Twist And Shout last month.‘As the series went on I was taking it more and more seriously and I wasn’t sure about Twist And Shout.
Fluff: Olly Murs performed with Robbie Williams, who missed his cue during the performance
George Michael and Joe McElderry performed Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me
‘Simon said, “Olly, trust me. It’s going to be great.” When I sang it and did the rehearsal it was fantastic.’ Last night’s show saw duets from three of pop music’s biggest stars. Robbie Williams sang Angels with Olly, George Michael performed Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me with Joe, and Stacey sang Feeling Good with Michael Bublé.The celebrities have been in constant contact with the producers and the staff supporting the acts.Olly said: ‘I’ve had a voicemail from Robbie saying how he’s chuffed to have me do a final duet with him and how excited he is about it all.’The victor tonight might not be the only one to win a contract.Cowell said he would ‘have a conversation’ with fourth-placed Danyl Johnson about signing him after Christmas.
Duets: Stacey performed with Michael Buble
Moment Corrie teenager moves in for a kiss with Kym Marsh
This is the moment Coronation Street’s Michelle Connor is caught out by a move from a teenage admirer.Barmaid Michelle, played by Kym Marsh, is distraught after discovering her sister-in-law Carla Connor knew more than she admitted about her brother Liam’s death.Finding her crying, 17-year-old Ben Richardson, played by Lucien Laviscount, gives Michelle a hug to comfort her.
Kym Marsh’s Coronation Street character Michelle Connor is lost for words when Ben Richardson, played by Lucien Laviscount, tries to kiss her
The teen has a crush on Michelle, which has developed while his parents are away on holiday. But he misreads the situation and clumsily attempts to kiss Michelle.A confrontation with Michelle’s son Ryan ensues, and Ben flees the street.
Michelle is crying when Ben finds her
Kym, 33,said: ‘When I heard about it, I thought, Oh no! They’re not turning me into a paedophile, please.’I can’t play that storyline, it would ruin me completely.’But it wasn’t that at all. It’s just to highlight the fact she’s a young mum.’Basically he’s going to misread the situation and he does kiss her but she doesn’t reciprocate. She’s absolutely horrified.’
Comfort: Ben first gives Michelle a hug
Miley Cyrus caught kissing ‘boyfriend’ Liam Hemsworth in Paris despite refusing to confirm relationship
Miley Cyrus may have never publicly acknowledged her relationship with former co-star Liam Hemsworth but judging by recent pictures that surfaced of them kissing, it appears they are definitely more than just friends.Spotted in Paris holding hands earlier this week, Miley and Liam were caught up in the moment, locking lips while strolling on the Champs-Elysees on Thursday.The couple, who met on set of the Disney Movie The Last Song, have been keen to keep their relationship under wraps after Liam, 19, denied rumous in September, claiming ‘We just made a movie together. That’s it.’
Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth, pictured on set of The Last Song in June, were spotted kissing in Paris earlier this week
When the Hannah Montana star, 17, was asked by presenter Ryan Seacrest if she and Liam were together, she responded ‘ I’ll neither confirm nor deny.’
However, Miley seems to have fallen for the actor, after deleting her Twitter acccount for him.In one of her last ‘tweets’ in October, Miley wrote that Liam wanted her to delete her account.’
The pair have refused to confirm rumours of a relationship
Her last ‘Tweet’ read: ‘FYI Liam doesn’t have a twitter and he wants ME to delete mine with good reason.’Miley was in the UK this week for performances at the Royal Variety Performance in Blackpool and the Jingle Bell Ball.She returns this weekend to launch the British leg of her Wonder World tour tomorrow and will be in the UK over Christmas.
Miley during her appearance at the Royal Variety Performance show in Blackpool earlier this week
OOOPS !!!!
Smoker-face: Lady Gaga faces potential fine after smoking onstage in Canada
She’s known for pushing the boundaries on what people expect of a popstar, but this time Lady Gaga may have gone to far.For performing in Canada, the 23-year-old shocked attendees by lighting up a cigarette and inhaling deeply – despite the fact smoking indoors is illegal in British Columbia.
Gaga: The controversial sing takes a drag of a cigarette onstage
Wearing a structured gold, bejewelled leotard, black leather gloves and fishnet tights, the Poker Face singer obviously couldn’t wait until she finished the sold out gig in Vancouver to indulge.This comes just days after the New York native met Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II when she performed at the Royal Variety show.The star went for a much less revealing look and thankfully the only smoke onstage during that set came from automated machines.
Wearing a revealing gold leotard the star obviously couldn’t wait until her sold-out gig in Vancouver was over to indulge
According to British Columbia law, smoking in all public spaces such as restaurants, pubs and private clubs, offices, malls, conference centres, arenas, community halls, government buildings and schools is banned.Those found guilty of breaking this law may be liable to a fine.However, as the singer clearly enjoyed the cigarette on stage last night, the potential consequences seemed to be the last thing on her mind.
Illegal: According to British Columbia law Gaga could now be fined
Go Princess !!!!!
Opposing Stories…Make Your Mind Up Girls
X Factor judge Dannii Minogue ‘to be replaced by Mel B’
Simon Cowell is secretly lining up ex-Spice Girl Mel B to replace Dannii Minogue on the X Factor next year, it was claimed last night.The feisty star, real name Melanie Brown, 34, is reportedly in talks with bosses of the ITV show after current judge Dannii Minogue hinted she may quit the show to start a family.Former Destiny’s Child singer Kelly Rowland, 28, is also being considered for the job, according to the Daily Mirror.
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New judge? Dannii Minogue is reportedly thinking about quitting the X Factor to start a family. Mel B, who has been modelling lingerie and appearing in a Las Vegas show Peep ShowDannii, 38, is thought to have told Simon Cowell that she may not return next year.The loved-up judge has publically spoken of her boyfriend Kris Smith’s desire to start a family, and has also complained of feeling the ‘odd one out’ on the show.A source told the newspaper: ‘Simon thinks Mel would be brilliant as she is outspoken, down-to-earth and won’t hold back.’There were times in the current series that he felt things were a bit boring and he is certain sparks will fly with her on board.’It will be interesting to see whether she and Cheryl Cole will gel or whether it will be handbags at dawn.’
Dull? Current judges Simon Cowell, Cheryl Cole, Dannii Minogue and Louis Walsh. But Cowell thought the show was ‘a bit boring’ in parts, according to reports
Kelly Rowland was tiped to take over from Dannii when it looked like she may leave earlier this year and was invited to Simon’s 50th birthday party.The source added: ‘Although it hasn’t been officially confirmed, it is highly likely Dannii won’t be on the panel next year and Simon is already thinking about a replacement.’Sparks flew when Dannii joined the judging panel two years ago when Sharon Osbourne was on the team.
She took an open dislike to the Australian star and claimed she was only on the show because Simon fancied her.
When Cheryl Cole joined the show last year, there were rumours of a rift between the pair as Dannii felt she had been sidelined.This year, they have appeared more friendly but Dannii admitted that they are not friends
Cheryl Cole wants to quit and have baby
Simon Cowell tells us he has another A-lister in his sights to replace the X Factor judge
CHERYL: Wants to have a baby
DANNII: Is staying!
MEL B: Won’t be joining judges
Majority of you are in Team Dannii rather than Team Cheryl.
CHERYL Cole wants to quit X Factor to have a baby
The show’s supremo Simon Cowell is desperate to keep his ace judge and ITV would double her £1.2million salary. But mega-rich Cheryl, below, has told him her decision is not about money. Last night an X Factor insider told us: “Cheryl has so much else going on in life.The number one thing on her mind is starting a family. The show is a huge commitment. It’s six months of the year. Cheryl wanted to have a baby with Ashley this year but put it off because of work. “She doesn’t want to wait much longer and she’s not keen on having to judge The X Factor while she’s heavily pregnant.”Cheryl, 26, has said: “I have friends who have put it off and I don’t want to do that. I’d love a big family.”As well as having children with Chelsea and England footballer Ashley Cole, the Geordie beauty has a successful music career to pursue.
Already a star in Girls Aloud, her solo work is the surprise talk of the music industry.Her first single Fight For This Love topped the charts and became the fastest selling song of the year after she performed it live on The X Factor.And her debut album 3 Words is on target to sell a million copies before the end of the year.Her act Alexandra Burke won X Factor last year and her protege this series, Joe McElderry, is hot favourite to win the contest tonight.Our show source added: “If you’ve won the show twice in a row what else is there left to prove? There’s massive demand in America for her to promote her music which is something she’s agreed to do.”
HugeA music industry expert added: “It’s not only America she has to tackle. Europe is a huge market with lots of countries she has to visit.”Cheryl also has her Girls Aloud commitments to honour with the group booked to record their next album late next year, clashing with X Factor.
Her uncertain future also makes fellow judge Dannii Minogue’s job safe for now.Our source added: “Girls Aloud are definitely recording their album at the end of next year.
“Cheryl has always said she’ll put music first but doing everything would put a massive strain on her. Something has to give.”Simon’s going to take time to reflect but until he’s signed up Cheryl there’s no way he’d let Dannii go anyway.”It’s crazy to think he would risk introducing two new female judges in the same year.”Contract negotiations between The X Factor judges and ITV do not begin until Spring.An ITV insider explained: “Simon hasn’t officially even done a deal with us to bring the show back next year.
“But he loves working with Cheryl and they’ve become very close friends.”He also knows how much the public adore her and how good she’s been for ratings.”Simon is very persuasive and Cheryl admires him hugely. He will try to get one last series out of her. For Simon it’s nothing short of a disaster if she does go through with what she’s thinking and walks out of the show.”
X Factor babe’s porn shame
MILE-HIGH CLUB: Vicky in pilot gear
KANDY Rain beauty Vicky Lloyd has got the XXX Factor – she’s starred in a series of PORN movies,
The blonde singer, 22, dressed as a pilot, a poledancer and even one of the 60s band The Supremes to make raunchy films.But when her band Kandy Rain auditioned for the X Factor, Vicky tried to distance herself from her not-so-sweet past by changing her name to Coco.Vicky, who met her bandmates when they were working as strippers at a lap-dancing club, is now dating the club’s owner who’s 27 years older.A source told us: “Vicky was a bit worried about her past coming out if Kandy Rain made it big.”But she loved being in front of the camera, she’s a natural exhibitionist.”
Former boarding- school pupil Vicky made the blue movies in 2007, soon after spurning the chance of taking a law degree to be a glamour model.
The films are available in the VIP section of paid-for adult website.In one video Vicky dons a pilot’s hat, skin- tight black uniform, stockings and heels as she purrs: “I’m dressed as a mile-high captain.”The 36DD Kandy girl then whips off her saucy get-up and writhes around groping herself before blowing a cheeky kiss to her online audience.
Kandy Rain beauty Coco Lloyd’s porn past. These clips have been heavily edited.In another sequence, Vicky peels off a tiny bikini before leaping into the shower.Elsewhere she dons a dark wig and body-hugging pink dress and impersonates Diana Ross’s legendary Motown girl group The Supremes.And in other films she strips on a bed, performs as a poledancer and allows the camera to peer up her skirt before performing a slow striptease.Vicky has also taken part in lesbian photoshoots and posed for Playboy. On the right is an exclusive never-seen-before photo from a recent shoot.But Vicky now wants to make it big on the music scene after meeting her bandmates – Azi Jegbefume, 25, Khatereh Dovani, 24, and Chemmane Applewhaite, 27 – at London club Sophisticats.
It is run by a singer/ songwriter called John McKeown, 49, who has been dating Vicky for 18 months.Our source told us: “He might be 27 years older than Coco but they get on brilliantly – she keeps him young in the bedroom.”There are a lot of sexy girls working in John’s club, but Coco’s got something extra in her personality.She is feisty, full of fire, and dedicated to her music.”Vicky and the other Kandy Rain girls became an overnight sensation when they performed a rendition of the Pussycat Dolls’ Don’t Cha while clad in PVC and leather.It’s hardly a surprise then that they made it to Boob, sorry, Boot Camp.
Simon Cowell: I want Robbie Williams for 5th judge
Cowell reveals plans for next series of X Factor
PLANS – Will Robbie join the team?
SIMON Cowell has revealed he wants superstar Robbie Williams to join the X Factor team as a FIFTH judge.
The show boss has told how he is planning a radical shake-up next year which is likely to include an extra “novelty” category to take in acts such as Jedward.And he wants Robbie and possibly another A-list star to join him, Louis Walsh and Dannii Minogue on the judging panel with Cheryl Cole’s future on the show in doubt.Cowell said that Robbie – who sang his most famous song Angels last night with Olly Murs and performed his single Bodies earlier in the series – could be the key to making next year’s show even better.
He said: “I would like to get Robbie Williams. He’s got good instincts.”He doesn’t take himself too seriously and he’s a fun guy to be around.”I’d love to have him there because I think he would be a good judge, full stop.”That’s why I like having Louis Walsh on the panel. He is fun to work with.”I don’t know if Robbie would want to do the show as he’s so busy but he would be great. A lot of things are going to change if we bring the show back.”He did not specify what the fifth category would be but Dannii has indicated they are looking at the novelty angle.Cowell is keen to inject more humour into the show and continue the huge success of acts like Jedward – John and Edward Grimes.He also denied rumours former Spice Girl Mel B will be taking a seat on the judging panel in 2010 in place of Dannii.Cowell, 50, said: “We have not approached Mel B to do the show. We met with Mel two or three years ago at the time we brought Cheryl in and didn’t know if Cheryl was going to accept.
THUMBS UP? Simon has plans for former Take That singer
“We also met Mel earlier this year to possibly get involved with a new show, not the X Factor. She wants to do the X Factor but she hasn’t been asked yet.”No deals have been concluded for next year, nothing. So we’re not in a position to talk to anybody about contracts.”The media mogul repeated his threat that if ITV does not find an extra £3million for the show’s budget he may AXE the show.He said the money was necessary to bring in more staff with many of the current team working round-the-clock to put on a good production.And he stressed he does not want to boost his £7.5million-a-year pay cheque.Cowell explained: “The reason we haven’t announced anything for next year is we’re seeing if we can work something out that will allow The X Factor to stay on in the UK for a few more years.”Everyone is really stretched right now. We need more people working on the show and that costs money.”There are a lot of people working 18 hours a day, seven days a week trying to keep this show running. We need more people. So I need that commitment from ITV. If you hire more dancers, more stylists, you need to add to the budgets.
EXHAUSTED – Simon blames huge workload
“Plus, when we’re flying people all around the world we need money.”Most people out there at the moment are asking for salary increases. We just want the money for the show. I haven’t asked for more money. I’m not looking for a pay rise. I wouldn’t ask for a raise if it meant we had less money for the show.”If we don’t reach a deal with ITV I will simply take a break. I am not going to work for anyone other than ITV and if we couldn’t come to a deal then we would say, ‘Thanks for the last few years, we’ve had a great time and that’s it.’”If we’re not going to work with ITV then that would be the end of The X Factor.”Cowell confirmed he will be launching The X Factor America, with himself at the helm, by 2011.
But he vowed to continue fronting his UK shows, which also includes Britain’s Got Talent, so long as a deal can be reached. Cowell said: “My gut feeling is X Factor will be on American TV in the next 18 months.”But he admitted his workload has left him so exhausted he wished he could clone himself.He joked: “I’m going to clone me to do all these shows. We’re in the middle of a scientific experiment right now. I’d make 50. I would live with one of them. He’d be like my friend.”Most importantly I am not running off from Britain to America.”Cowell went on to blame Dannii for ruining Stacey Solomon’s chances by trying to make her a clone of 2006 winner Leona Lewis.
He said: “If Stacey were to win the show, we would have to go right back to where she started from when we first saw her.”I would take her out of those stupid ballgowns and stop her trying to sound like Leona. I think she is a really good singer but all her originality has been stripped away from her.”Dannii is trying to make her Leona Mark II and you can’t do that.When Stacey sang Coldplay she was so good they sent her a platinum disc. She needs to do something that’s interesting.”On last night’s show, Stacey duetted with crooner Michael Buble on the old standard Feeling Good.
On Olly, his last contestant, Cowell added: “He’s like a new Robbie. I spent two days with him this week where we went to his home and I got to know him a bit more. I saw what he was like with a crowd and if he is looked after properly and given some decent records he could do really well.”"But Joe McElderry has been very underrated. He’s got a very good recording voice. We’re going to take our time on Joe if he does win. We’ll do our best and he could surprise a lot of people.”Prince Harry was in the audience for last night’s show. The 25-year-old royal is a huge fan and has told pals Joe is the best singer. But he loves cheeky chappy Olly and reckons Stacey Solomon is “hilarious.”An insider said: “Harry’s been watching the show since the start. He loves it! He was desperate to see it live and when his aides contacted ITV they were thrilled to get him on the guest list.”Like everyone, Harry loves Joe and reckons he has the best voice.
do not pass GO
Unless you’re in the contest where you get prizes for turning straight women into lesbians — in which case it’s ok to bed as many straight women as you possibly can — I don’t get it.
Okay, maybe it is a bit appealing when you’re coming out. Not only do lesbians want you, but OH MY GOD, straight women do too! You get to buy 365 sets of bed sheets. Breakfast in bed every weekend of the year. How cool is that?
X Factor: Joe McElderry and Olly Murs go head-to-head in the final
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Miley Cyrus caught kissing ‘boyfriend’ Liam Hemsworth in Paris despite refusing to confirm relationship
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CHERYL: Wants to have a baby
DANNII: Is staying!
MEL B: Won’t be joining judges
MILE-HIGH CLUB: Vicky in pilot gear
KANDY Rain beauty Vicky Lloyd has got the XXX Factor – she’s starred in a series of PORN movies,
Former boarding- school pupil Vicky made the blue movies in 2007, soon after spurning the chance of taking a law degree to be a glamour model.
PLANS – Will Robbie join the team?
SIMON Cowell has revealed he wants superstar Robbie Williams to join the X Factor team as a FIFTH judge.
